For those of you reading because you thought, “WHAT kind of mom could possibly WANT her children to get HURT?” Welcome and thank you for joining in on the conversation. 🙂
I promise I don’t abuse my kids or support dictator type parenting styles. I am not some sick mom who doesn’t worry about my kids and what they will come across in this harsh world. In fact, I think I am a good mom for wanting my kids to get hurt. Let me explain.
Through my own struggles, I have come to a season in my own life where I am learning to use those struggles as strengths. And how fitting that tomorrow is Thanksgiving, because I am actually very thankful for my trials. Let me rephrase that. I am very thankful for a loving God who has pulled me up out of those trials and blessed me tremendously with people that are willing to be broken with me.
The abusive relationships (both physically and mentally), the unfaithful partners, the back stabbing friends, the loneliness, the divorce, the tragic events, the hurt, the alcohol, the money spending addiction, the postpartum depression, the anxiety attacks, the constant moving, the blended families, the loss, the untrustworthy doctors…..all of it. I’m thankful for all of it.
Ok, now maybe you may trust that I don’t abuse my kids but are thinking I must be a special kind of crazy to be THANKFUL for all of this hurt!
Guys, how on EARTH would I be able to describe to unbelievers how amazing my God is without relating to them in their deepest hurt, looking into their teary eyes and telling them that I serve a loving and forgiving God? A God who shows grace and forgives us even when we don’t feel like we deserve it. A God who is always with us even when we think we are completely alone in this world. A God who loves us no matter how badly we have screwed up. A God who brings good out of EVERYTHING.
Do I WANT to watch my kids cry or panic or feel lost? Absolutely not!! But I desperately want them to feel the deepest kind of love I have ever felt in my entire life and that love comes from God. The One who sees us through EVERY hurt. I am only human as a mother, and I can’t be everywhere. I can, however, bring my children to the lap of a God who CAN. The greatest gift I could ever give to them is the gift of salvation and the feeling of knowing that someone who loves them is with them EVERY second of EVERY day.
I used to consider myself a person of controlled emotion. I never showed emotion in front of anyone and was seen as the girl who could handle anything and have a stable reaction. I RARELY got angry or acted out. Although, that may have seemed ideal growing up, I know better now. Humans were not created to be strong. They were created with emotions; each one serving a purpose. We are not capable of holding it all in. We will explode.
Feeling emotions is very healthy! I just love seeing people express emotions. Hugging, crying, smiling, laughing. I am still working on showing these but I sure am learning the value in sharing these with those I love. Even when I’m hurt, I pray that my children never have to wonder how I’m feeling, how I feel towards them, how I feel about strangers or how I feel towards God. ❤